Dear Courtney Rome...

Sorry for the wait, life is crazy and I'm sure you were more than a little disappointed by the lack of a white elephant. Just letting you know you weren't forgotten, it's on its way, but you can't rush art I suppose. So, for now, here's a picture of a penguin

[REDACTED]

I remember looking out the airplane window into a bright white blank slate.

And maybe in the end all it meant was there too many clichéd Hollywood effects stored away in my brain, but for a second I swear it meant we were all dead.

Maybe I knew, deep down, that we'd emerge from that logical product of condensation perfectly alive.

But for a second, we were all dead together.

First-class passengers still closed their business deals, those girls in front of me kept checking out that boy, and he kept pretending not to notice.

The Avengers on my neighbor's iPad kept saving New York, but despite the Hollywood effects, no one wrote a hero into our movies.

Not a single one.

We were just more extras grounded into the screenplay's ink and forgotten before the popcorn ran out.

And maybe that was okay.

hello, it's me

How Corporate Commander Killed Creativity

A long time ago, in Ogden, my father who was just a dumb little ten year old kid being dragged to some movie called StarWars that he had no desire to see. He had wanted to go out and play or do anything other than see this dumb movie that he had never heard anything about. He sat down in the old theater in that grumpy way that anyone who has ever met a ten year old knows, and then it started. Suddenly his senses were assaulted by a sweeping musical score, booming sounds of turrets and the roar of massive engines as two massive star ships swept across the screen. Truly this was a spectacle to behold, and it was like nothing his ten year old mind had ever dreamed it would see. To this day he still says that he will never forget the first time he saw that and, then the 11 times after that, because it was like nothing he had ever seen before.  This was the case for just about everyone who walked into the theater in 1977, and it launched a worldwide phenomenon which to this day is still running strong (Don't let us down JJ!)

However, experiences like this have become almost non existent, and to this day the effects of the original StarWars are much more fun to look at and watch than that of most movies today (But that's a rant for another day). What I want to talk about today is how Corporations and all of their guidelines, statistics, and whatnot are killing creativity in just about every medium. If you go to a summer film, chances are it is a re-make of an older movie, an adaptation of a book, comic-book, or even video game, a dramatization of real-life events (although done right those are awesome.), or just a paint by numbers rehash of the same basic plot we have all seen a thousand times that offers nothing new really except for some fun distraction for a couple hours. The same goes for video games, which are all becoming clones of each other aside from a few games made by indie developers (more on those later), not even books are safe from this, and even music can tend to fall into the snare of Corporate Commander (I have to mention music because that's the prompt for the week).

I believe that this death of creativity is caused but corporations and statistics that say "people don't want a story about knights and dragons." or "that could offend someone." or "I liked it, but I'm not sure it will play in the mid-west."  In fact I remember reading somewhere that many game publishers said that they would not even consider working on a game unless there was a franchise or series that would come out of it. Why did they say this? Because it is too expensive to do otherwise. Most movies and games cost millions of dollars to produce it seems like (it's more money than I'll ever see anyways) that's just ridiculous I think. Movie studios know this too because at the end of film credits there is always a note saying that the making of this film provided so many people with jobs for however long and whatnot as if to say "Yeah, we know we spent and inordinate amount of money making this, but hey it's justified because, jobs!" And yeah people need jobs, and good for them for employing all those people. But I would like to point out that the original Star Wars was a very low budget film (Compared to most films today anyways, only about 20% of the total budget went to the effects and the budget was only $10 million. The more you know!) so now that you know that you know why the effects of star wars are so impressive considering that they still stand up today and look better than a lot of modern movies because, you know, you can see whats happening and it looks somewhat real (because the ships were real. I really don't like CGI) But more importantly, to get that budget it took George Lucas several attempts with several studios before someone gave him the green-light. Now all of those studios all are kicking themselves for not seeing how great the idea was but at the time they were saying "that will never take off." "there's no money in this." And it is exactly that mentality that has more or less killed creativity today. no one is willing to take risks anymore because they might lose money, make a fool of themselves, or it might just not sell. (or it might offend someone which is bogus. stop being offended so easily please. Censorship is ugly. so are people. Sorry, my brain left my head for a moment.)

Anyways, that's my rant for this week. Don't let Corporate commander kill your creativity with his cash grabbing schemes and just create because you want too and because you see value in it because that's more important than making more money than James Cameron's Titanic or being top of the box office or a best seller for three weeks straight.

That is all.

Rocket Ships

People are kind of like rocket ships. They are complicated and not a whole lot of people know how they work and what they're made of. 

Rocket ships can take us to far away places. Places we had never dreamed of. Places we never knew or thought existed. 

Once there though.... They can break down. They can leave us stranded somewhere that we may not have even wanted to be. Alone. Wondering, how did I even wind up here in the first place and is there any hope that I can be saved from here?

When you climb aboard a rocket ship you put an awful lot of trust in it that this journey will not end like that. When you open your heart to someone you hope that too. 

Rocket ships are a lot like people. And in your adventures you take you will be stranded at least once, sometimes it will be a faulty rocket ship that wasn't calibrated to your piloting style. Sometimes it will be your own error. Sometimes a combination of both. 

In the end it's hard to tell what went wrong. You may never know, even after you've crawled from the wreckage and pulled the good pieces out of what was once your beautiful rocket ship to make shelter and keep you warm until you can move on. 

So yeah.... People are a lot like rocket ships. If you care to see it that way. 

A year ago

A year ago we met, and you changed my life

A year ago I wanted to go try drugs with you

A year ago I wanted to spend as much time as possible with you even if I had to lie to do it

A year ago I was a fool

A year ago I was ignorant to the pain sorrow and regret you would bring 

A year ago I thought I loved you

Maybe I still do

But time changes things

With time all fantasies end

With time we all wake up 

I woke up

Not because I wanted to

I fought it

But reality always wins 

Especially when fighting a fantasy 

Reality always wins

A year ago I was in a fantasy

A year ago I thought we could make

A year ago I was wrong

I hope a year from now it won't hurt anymore

I hope a year from now I've moved on completely

I hope a year from now I've Found someone else

I hope a year from now it lasts and I'll be able to look at her, smile, and say 

A year ago we met, and you changed my life. 

Posting this before it's too late...

I hope this isn't too late. It may be... But all the same, I think it best that I share this with you so that you don't wind up in the same spot I am.

It all started a few months ago... It was just a normal day, nothing out of the ordinary. In fact I was excited because I would be meeting someone who many of my friends held in high regard. I admit I was a bit uneasy at first, trying not to let the stories, which I assumed to be embellished, cloud my judgement as is so often the case for me. I listened to him speak for an hour, remaining awkward and uncomfortable as this eccentric hipster told me all about the great opportunities awaiting me this year.
The initial shock slowly wore off, and as time drew on I began to feel at home around this man. That was my first mistake. It was this false sense of security that got me to the point I am now, where every weekend I try and relax only to see hos face in the back of my mind pulling me towards my computer.
At first it was no big deal. It was fun even, getting to explore a new world with him and others that he had brought under him. I even looked forward to these times when once or twice a week I would fill out a request for his amusement.
Only now... I find it eating away at me... I now realized I was tricked by him. He has gotten inside my head and now I can't see a man with a beard or hear the word "Sunday" without hearing his demented laugh in the back of my head. This man has ruined my life, I now find that every Sunday I can't sleep until I have performed for his amusement.
I'm warning you now, if you are told stories of a teacher who will change your life, run. Whoever told you that has already been brainwashed by this hipster who promises to teach you free thought. I am only able to resist his pull because of my innate authority problem, but I fear my time is running out... I fear he knows that I resist his methods.
Tonight I am locking my doors, windows, and covering the airvents just to be sure... that won't stop him though... his mind is so far outside of any box it is too difficult to anticipate his next move. I will just sit and wait... when he comes for me with his starbucks, indie music, and bizarre antics... I'll be as ready as one can be...
This is Cahlebe Haddad signing off and wishing all of you out there good luck. Don't fall for the trap.

Long Live the Rebellion.