A year ago

A year ago we met, and you changed my life

A year ago I wanted to go try drugs with you

A year ago I wanted to spend as much time as possible with you even if I had to lie to do it

A year ago I was a fool

A year ago I was ignorant to the pain sorrow and regret you would bring 

A year ago I thought I loved you

Maybe I still do

But time changes things

With time all fantasies end

With time we all wake up 

I woke up

Not because I wanted to

I fought it

But reality always wins 

Especially when fighting a fantasy 

Reality always wins

A year ago I was in a fantasy

A year ago I thought we could make

A year ago I was wrong

I hope a year from now it won't hurt anymore

I hope a year from now I've moved on completely

I hope a year from now I've Found someone else

I hope a year from now it lasts and I'll be able to look at her, smile, and say 

A year ago we met, and you changed my life. 

Posting this before it's too late...

I hope this isn't too late. It may be... But all the same, I think it best that I share this with you so that you don't wind up in the same spot I am.

It all started a few months ago... It was just a normal day, nothing out of the ordinary. In fact I was excited because I would be meeting someone who many of my friends held in high regard. I admit I was a bit uneasy at first, trying not to let the stories, which I assumed to be embellished, cloud my judgement as is so often the case for me. I listened to him speak for an hour, remaining awkward and uncomfortable as this eccentric hipster told me all about the great opportunities awaiting me this year.
The initial shock slowly wore off, and as time drew on I began to feel at home around this man. That was my first mistake. It was this false sense of security that got me to the point I am now, where every weekend I try and relax only to see hos face in the back of my mind pulling me towards my computer.
At first it was no big deal. It was fun even, getting to explore a new world with him and others that he had brought under him. I even looked forward to these times when once or twice a week I would fill out a request for his amusement.
Only now... I find it eating away at me... I now realized I was tricked by him. He has gotten inside my head and now I can't see a man with a beard or hear the word "Sunday" without hearing his demented laugh in the back of my head. This man has ruined my life, I now find that every Sunday I can't sleep until I have performed for his amusement.
I'm warning you now, if you are told stories of a teacher who will change your life, run. Whoever told you that has already been brainwashed by this hipster who promises to teach you free thought. I am only able to resist his pull because of my innate authority problem, but I fear my time is running out... I fear he knows that I resist his methods.
Tonight I am locking my doors, windows, and covering the airvents just to be sure... that won't stop him though... his mind is so far outside of any box it is too difficult to anticipate his next move. I will just sit and wait... when he comes for me with his starbucks, indie music, and bizarre antics... I'll be as ready as one can be...
This is Cahlebe Haddad signing off and wishing all of you out there good luck. Don't fall for the trap.

Long Live the Rebellion.







   

Watchers

(Occasionally I will post little things of "lore" that pertains to the world of the stories such as Below and Shadow of Winter)

Excerpt from the Creation Tomes 

" And it was decided that there should be guardians made out of mortal men to protect their brothers and sisters. 

    And the Creator declared that there should be twenty and four of these guardians which He named Watchers. And they were deemed Watchers because of the blessing of divine sight which was bestowed upon them. 

     Behold, this blessing was given to each in the form of a wooden mask that when worn granted the Watcher divine sight. And these masks were made of a single tree, yea even one of the oldest trees remaining on the earth. And the craftsmanship of these masks were exceedingly fine although to the eyes of many they appeared plain and simple.

Now it should be known that the blessing of divine sight did work in many ways according to the righteousness of the wearer and the will of the Creator.

 Yea, divine sight could even grant the Watcher precognition of events that had yet to come to pass.  However it should be known also that divine sight could also be used to grant the Watcher improved vision in such ways that they could see men through barriers and walls, yea even the mightiest of walls constructed by man. 

And it was also given by the Creator that the Watchers should use their blessing that they might see demons and wraiths and all manner of being which should not appear before the naked eye. 

Yea this was done that the Watchers might protect those that these dark creatures would prey upon. 

   .....

And it came to pass that during the second age of man the Watchers were hunted by a sky-dweller named Ren-Thalgor. 

And it came to pass that Ren-Thalgor, being a wicked and blasphemous man with delusions of godhood, did capture and slay many of the Watchers, yea he did even slay fifteen of the twenty and four Watchers. 

And behold the masks of the fifteen were lost after their wearers were slain and it is believed that many of the masks were destroyed by those who did slay them.

But behold when times demanded it one of these masks would resurface into the hands of a righteous individual and this was done that man should not be destroyed nor led into captivity by those with dark hearts. 

And behold, those with wicked hearts and intent would find no blessing of divine sight through the eyes of the masks. 

Yea they would see the world as if they were without a mask. Meaning that the mask will only work when worn by a righteous man with a pure spirit and humble heart."

End of excerpt. 

Death is the leading cause of Life

What is it to be alive? Is it simply performing basic biological functions needed for an organism to survive? Is it the need for love and a desire to create? 

Lots of people say it is

But what causes that? What makes us want to be loved and to find love? What makes us want to create and leave our mark on the world?

It's simple

Death. 

Death is why we create. Death is why we take risks. Or more correctly Fear of Death. The fear of dying and the knowledge that one day, no matter what, it will come for us all; is what makes a person alive because without that fear and that knowledge we become idle. And when we are idle we are no different than the rocks and dirt beneath our feet. 

That is why Death is the leading cause of Life. 

A Brick to the Head is worth two in the Chest

     Just think about it; if you get hit in the head once with a brick, chances are you're dead. Bummer. I believe however that you can survive two hits to the chest with a brick and probably be relatively okay unless of course you never drink your milk so you have weak bones that break and puncture your lungs, major arteries, and heart all at once.

Honestly I have no idea what to say about bricks, I could make it some symbolic poem about love and life and stuff but that requires effort. I'm not feeling it today so yeah.


Bricks; they'll getcha every time.

                                                                   
end of post

What is love?

....baby don't hurt me... don't hurt me... no moooooore............

Love is Complicated. Especially for a high school student who has been told repeatedly that they don't know what love is because they have never felt it. After all how could they? I mean we are just a bunch of stupid kids aren't we? Sure we probably don't actually know what it is but if you ask anyone to define it, even adults, they'll be unsure of how to define it because it can be so different for so many people.


Maybe trying to define Love is a waste of time....


Or maybe we are over thinking it. Maybe it's just so simple that we have all over looked it. Maybe Love is just... love. There really is nothing else that compares to real love. So why do love an injustice by describing it in inadequate and mediocre terms. Love is some thing you feel, so trying to qualify and quantify it is a waste of time, because when it comes down to it Love doesn't make a lot of sense and there aren't words to describe the feeling accurately.

I've been in love before, and to anyone else it didn't make sense. I couldn't tell you what it was like because it is something everyone needs to experience. But that is just one kind of Love.

Love has many faces and forms and is not the same between all people at all times.

So just feel it instead of trying to define it because it is just a waste of time to try and define it.

Murphy, it's you!

In the theme of being human here is a song that I feel describes it very well, enjoy:

What does it mean to be human? I do not care.

Firstly, every time we talked about 'being human' and all that stuff this is all I could think about...
            (it says one or two bad language words so be warned.)

Anyways, now you know what I spent most of my time thinking about during class. But really what is it to be human? I guess the easy answer and the one that makes the most sense to me is our ability to choose and make mistakes. For instance I can provee that im not a robot becuz this sentence is loadid with all sortz of mistakes, well actually im chusing too make theze mistakes. thee reel mistake iz that I'm turning it in late. A robot cant do that. You want to know what else a robot can't do? Robots can't love. Or laugh. They also have piercing red eyes and run on batteries. and they do this...

anyways. this is a lame post and it really doesn't talk about anything profound but I'm not feeling super profound, I just feel like being kind of goofy right now. 

Emotion is another human trait that robots do not posses. Sure we can program them to mimic some emotions but they can't really feel. That must suck really, just exisitng and doing but not having any emotion or passion at all. We all say it would be easier not to feel and some people say that they want that but honestly I think it is better to feel, to be reminded that you are human than to feel nothing at all and be a robot or just a lifeless husk going through the motions of day to day life.

Anyways, that is all. 

lik dis if u kry erey tim.